,
My apologies, for not writing any blog for last few months. However,
a recent incident enforced me to write about this aspect, otherwise I thought I
would quit writing.
Here's what happened; Few days ago, I was in a lift and there was another person
in the lift talking to her mother, rather having a quarrel due to her repeated
calls since she was not able to respond to her calls. Long story short, she
told her mother to never call again, which may have been out of sheer anger and
she may not have intended to reflect such thoughts. However she did that and, I wanted to tell her
to talk to her mother nicely but I did not, I do not know why but I didn’t say
anything and exited the lift.
I recently lost my mother to a brain
stroke and, I would give up anything and everything only to see her
call me again. We take our parents for granted, rather believe that nothing can
take them away from us, specifically mother. Hence, I would share my thought on
this and a few of you may not agree with all of it, please tell me otherwise.
My mother was the perfect mother similar to every mother, however mine was the most polite, courteous, kind, humble, best cook, strongest yet calm and so on(list never ends)….and she was most fond of talking and travelling. Also, she was the most gorgeous women with the most adorable smile in the world, which can be seen in the pictures above as well.
On 17th, December'2019, I was at work when my sister told me that mum has fainted, we called the ambulance and took her to the hospital and she was admitted in ICU, where doctors told me the situation that, there is a clot on the left side of her brain due to which her speech, understanding and the right limbs were not functional anymore, doctors also clarified that there are minor chances of survival and that she might be able to talk, understand or walk again sometime in future, which could be days, weeks, months or even years.
Furthermore, there is only one way to ensure her survival possibility is a little higher and that would be a brain decompression surgery which means, to surgically remove a small piece of her skull to allow space for the brain swelling to avoid further damage and would keep that piece in her stomach for a few months, until she has recovered enough to attach the piece back on the skull. Needless to say, if she survives the pain of those surgeries !
Me and my family decided not to proceed with the surgery, which is by far the most toughest decision I have ever made in my life till now. We were criticized as well since not everyone could understand
the reasons, that we could not imprison her to a life of pain and sympathy, even she would not have wanted such a life and I knew my mum very well.
Otherwise, is there anyone who would want such a life? Hence,
we left the verdict on our fate wherein she fought even more fiercely than a knight could have for 09 days, before leaving us on 26th, December'2019.
Ironically, even after being prepared for the most improbable verdict, when I was about to wake up the following day after coming
the from the cremation ground, I somehow wished for all of this to be a bad dream, and simply wanted her to
wake me up, I just wanted to see her face again or to hear her voice. Nonetheless, after waking up I realized
that this is not something fate had given me the liberty of anymore. It has been about 03 months
now, but nothing can fill that space or make that wish come true.
Why am I telling you all of this?
Given the opportunity to relive the moments with her, I would
do things better and I would not think twice before saying “I’m sorry mum”, or
rather I would say it out loud that “I love you mum”.
We do not mind apologizing to a lot of people in life
without a reason, then why are we reluctant when our parents say something, this
person I met in the lift could have ended the conversation with “I’m sorry mum”
which would have changed the entire meaning of it.
Have our parents not tolerated us enough, for our unintentional yet uncivilized behavior since childhood?
Have our parents not tolerated us enough, for our unintentional yet uncivilized behavior since childhood?
Today, I take peace in the fact that my mum died a warrior
and she was smiling in her last moments (yes, she was). Fortuitously, a few days later I saw her in my dream wherein she looked young, happy and at peace and
honestly I also take tranquility in this. This is one of the reasons which gets me thru every single day since then.
Apparently, she also taught me to always smile and have faith that everything happens for a good reason.
Apparently, she also taught me to always smile and have faith that everything happens for a good reason.
I only want to emphasize on the fact that, the only constant
aspect of life is inconsistency. We must not take everyone in our life as an immortal or for granted. Although, we cannot keep everyone happy but given the opportunity, never think
twice before saying “I’m sorry” to the ones who are closest to your heart and
loves you absolutely, we may never know when would be the last moment.
I said it to her when she was in ICU, “I’m sorry mum” (in my own way) to which I do
not know if she could even hear me, however I still said it.
Please tell me if what we did was right or wrong? What you
would have done? Then think how would you respond the next time when your mum calls you. Particularly, when we are already dealing with a pandemic.
Choose Wisely and Live Freely...Cheers !!!
Please share your thoughts as well and do not forget to connect with me. Also, please leave it in the comments below, if you would like me to write about something in particular.. Thank you for reading !
